I am one of 4 sisters and we are all very close as adults! We’ve asked my parents how they helped cultivate this and they ALWAYS mention travel. When we had to rely on one another to be playmates, we became closer. Traveling also gives you shared stories and inside jokes. We still laugh about funny stories from traveling as teenagers! (And we still love to travel together.) I feel like this answer comes from a place of privilege (my mom stayed home, my dad could afford to send us on trips and take off time to come…), but I think replicating that at home is helpful too! Having “stay at home” days where the kids just play with their siblings, going to the zoo/splash pad/park with just siblings… just some thoughts. I also tell my kids all the time that they are each others greatest blessings and best friends. Gotta brainwash them a little 😉
Davis Ann I love this! I agree so much on the inside jokes part. thank you for taking the time to write this...inspires me to get us away more, even to easy places that just get us out of the norm and allow the bonds and memories to form.
So glad you are loving Maine! We moved here about 7 years ago and it’s been so great for raising a family. I’m sure you have everything planned out but in the Portland area I recommend picking up some treats at Scratch Bakery and then taking it down the street to the Willard beach playground. Belleville bakery and then eastern promenade playground is a good combo too. Deering oaks park and splash pad are fun with the farmers market there on Wednesday and Saturday. Mackworth island is a great kid friendly hike with lots of fairy houses. Enjoy!
Violette we went into Portland briefly, stayed too long at the childrens museum, left hangry and went to the first place we could find to eat. we need another Portland day so this is VERY helpful!!! truly, thank you so much!
I am older than my two sisters by 7 and 11 years (there is a brother in there too) and as kids we all shared the same room. Two bunk beds and a twin. When I was in university, there would be Barbie’s on the floor when I returned. Growing up, we camped every Summer (if you love Maine, keep coming East and go to PEI Canada, think Nantucket but so much more adorable!) and it was the Summer vacations that made us rely on each other. We now are grown with lots of kids of our own and I can truly say we are the best of friends. We talk continuously in a group chat and spend our vacation time flying to see each other’s families. At the end of August, the full family (we are now a group of 20!) are headed back to PEI for a big family get together. The core memories continue to build even in our 40’s…Mom & Dad are joining in on the fun too, like old times! As an optimist, I need to tell you it’s all going to work out :) You are doing a great job!
On the optimism quote… I think I lean more towards wanting my children to be practical…nothing is more annoying than someone who is always optimistic and can’t ever see when something just isn’t very good…just like nothing is more annoying than a pessimist who can’t see past the bad to make something enjoyable. But being practical and understanding there’s a time for both and knowing how to buckle in and use each one when needed seems incredibly helpful in so many situations they will face in life.
Carter I really like this!!! (I am also such a lover of practicality so you had me there!!), but this gives me some good things to think about, especially the part on being so optimistic you can't see when something isn't very good. thank you for this!
Vacations were the only time my sister and I, who are four years apart, got along and played together. We now vacation as combined families and our children love getting the time with their cousins.
On the note of having a naturally optimistic child: I don’t doubt the author of the quote, but when you are a parent of a naturally pessimistic child, it is quotes like this that can make you feel like a failure as a parent. Like, what did I do wrong that one of my children ended up having a more negative outlook? Is he going to end up depressed as a teen? Is he not going to be as successful as his siblings later in life? We want all of our children to be optimistic, but when you are in the thick of the tween years, and our optimism is met with a doubled-down side of pessimism on their part, it can really drag you through the mud.
Here’s to hoping that our continued love and support will lead to more optimistic teens.
Eh. I consider myself an optimist and my husband a pessimist. They each serve us well in different ways! My husband is an ophthalmologist (and I promise I don’t say this to brag, but that means he was top of his med school class). So, pretty “successful” in his career. His pessimism helps him evaluate possible pitfalls in his job, it honestly helps him have healthy habits (because he considers the downside of not exercising, eating well, etc.), it helps him be a good dad… honestly, being an eeyore isn’t all bad! Now, I think he needs me to bring a little sunshine sometimes! But I need him too. Your kid will do great 🤍
Oh man Erin I am just touching the beginning of that phase with my oldest...the attitude, that reads so much like pessimism, can be so killer. I do wonder how it will iron out over time...but I really like what Davis Ann said here as well.
I just have to say the preorder bonus interviews are AMAZING!!! Each one is better than the next. What a joy and privilege to get to binge all the conversations between you and each of your incredible guests! I CANNOT wait to read your book next month!!
Marissa thank you so much!! They were a true labor of love so I am thrilled you are enjoying them. It was a TREAT for me to get to chat with those women.
Next time check out the Keweenaw Peninsula (in Michigan’s UP) for a summer getaway! We have gorgeous summers and amazing Lake Superior beaches. And I would LOVE to come your way during our long winter…
Oh Michigan is absolutely on our list!!! thank you for giving me a name of a place to start looking it up more. and yes, Charleston in August....misery. Charleston in January....THE BEST!!!
Candice every day Nate's reading list makes me feel inferior. lol. it's so high level. so many topics!! Meanwhile I am reading one fiction at a time and it takes me a month.
I'm so glad you made the correlation between weather and mood. I'm blessed not to suffer from SAD in the winter, but the heat of a Charlotte, NC summer wrecks me. I wilt. I, too, had a quick getaway to Fancy Gap, VA (just 2 hours up the road but several thousand feet in elevation) and was refreshed by the cooler morning temps (64 degrees) and the fact that I could still be outside at noon (hiking even) and be hot but not boiled. I'm looking into renting an Airbnb for all of Jul and Aug next year if I can find something reasonably priced to have the luxury of mini-getaways all summer (or most of it!). Enjoy Maine!!
yessss!!!! i am telling you, i call it reverse seasonal depression. like the sunshine and heat and humidity and bugs just kill me. we spend too much time inside. that small dip in the morning temps are healing...so glad you found a place you enjoy!!
Kate, I love Maine. I always tell people if I didn’t live in Oregon, Maine would be my place. I have 2 sisters, we were not really friends as children, but we are close now and walk together every Sunday. Two of us are unmarried and I think it was when my married sister had her 2 daughters that was what brought us closer to each other. Your children are beautiful and all seem so happy and fun to be around.
Have a the happiest & most memorable vacation ever!
Oh I love that you go on walks together! My sister and I live so close we should be doing this. Also, did you know Oregon is my secret (not so secret) place I wish I lived?!
My kids get along better when I just force them to do it - less time with friends and holding very strict boundaries about how they treat each other and talk to each other. Traveling definitely sets the stage for this in big ways!
Maine looks fantastic, though I’m always compelled to speak up for my home state and say that Western / Northern Michigan is also magical in its own way. We survive the NC summers by making at least one road trip back up in the summer. Those gray northern winters are a serious killer, though. There’s a reason so many people snowbird in the south when they retire! I’m not sure I could go back there year-round.
I really, really want to see Michigan!! Also yes it's chilly here in July I cant imagine the winters!!! I would die. also i love the "forced family fun"...I think that is what my mom called it, haha!
I wonder if for your daughters there will be seasons that ebb and flow with friendship—that was definitely the case with me and my sisters! And now we are all besties despite times in life when there was more discord. I think travel was big for bonding (and currently is for my three young girls now). Also *working* alongside each other for shared goals—it builds a sense of camaraderie and confidence—like a pride in doing a job together successfully (we grew up on a dairy farm!). Nothing like a hard job to make you appreciate one another that much more and share that journey.
I think maybe the biggest thing is fostering a sense of warmth in your home! Somehow that gift of family and community in our home we had growing up created some great bonds that made us proud to be sisters! And just speaking to each other with kindness and gentleness and respect—a Christlike example that becomes second nature and expected. When an outside world notices the warmth, they see something different and even that fosters an excitement and pride to be a sibling and part of this type of family (especially once they get older!). You are doing great! ❤️
I told my husband last week that we needed to go a Maine trip for next summer! The kids will be 3, 7, and 8... An I crazy to consider driving from Western NC?! I can't decide if we should fly and have it be or destination, or road trip?!
We have a direct flight on breeze airways to portland and that made the decision to fly much easier! but I think a road trip could be awesome if you have the time to do so!
Next summer we will have a 5 and 3yo and we’re planning to go to Maine from the Raleigh area. I feel like so much of those trips become even more amazing when you add in the journey. If you and/or your husband have the days to take off to extend the trip to add the days of driving, I say do it!
Long road-trips with kids can be exhausting but we’ve never regretted one.
We live in Raleigh and have driven to Maine a few times. If you can break it up into 1-2 days it's absolutely manageable (and there are some great stops along the way - recommend the Maryland bay area or the Berkshires!) but I wouldn't recommend doing it in one go. We've only done that once, never again!
Good to know! Did you pre-plan stops and hotels/places to stay? I feel like I'll want to have the details laid out, but sometimes I over plan and can't let things go to enjoy the more spontaneous side of road trips. 🙃
We pre-plan where we stay overnight and some stops along the way, but not all! For example, there's a bay-side park in Havre de Grace, Maryland (https://www.concordpointlighthouse.org/) that we often stop at, so we'll usually finagle our schedule to make it work. But others are on an as-needed basis or because something looks cool!
Hi!! Can you please make a Maine post about your itinerary, where you went, what you ate etc. Would love to plan a family trip!!
I absolutely will once we leave!! Taking notes.
I am one of 4 sisters and we are all very close as adults! We’ve asked my parents how they helped cultivate this and they ALWAYS mention travel. When we had to rely on one another to be playmates, we became closer. Traveling also gives you shared stories and inside jokes. We still laugh about funny stories from traveling as teenagers! (And we still love to travel together.) I feel like this answer comes from a place of privilege (my mom stayed home, my dad could afford to send us on trips and take off time to come…), but I think replicating that at home is helpful too! Having “stay at home” days where the kids just play with their siblings, going to the zoo/splash pad/park with just siblings… just some thoughts. I also tell my kids all the time that they are each others greatest blessings and best friends. Gotta brainwash them a little 😉
Davis Ann I love this! I agree so much on the inside jokes part. thank you for taking the time to write this...inspires me to get us away more, even to easy places that just get us out of the norm and allow the bonds and memories to form.
Is this Davis Ann a sister to Kiley? 😅
Yes ma’am I am!!
I’m sure I’ve met you at least once. 😉 We go to Hope and are great friends with your sis and LeeG.
So glad you are loving Maine! We moved here about 7 years ago and it’s been so great for raising a family. I’m sure you have everything planned out but in the Portland area I recommend picking up some treats at Scratch Bakery and then taking it down the street to the Willard beach playground. Belleville bakery and then eastern promenade playground is a good combo too. Deering oaks park and splash pad are fun with the farmers market there on Wednesday and Saturday. Mackworth island is a great kid friendly hike with lots of fairy houses. Enjoy!
Violette we went into Portland briefly, stayed too long at the childrens museum, left hangry and went to the first place we could find to eat. we need another Portland day so this is VERY helpful!!! truly, thank you so much!
I am older than my two sisters by 7 and 11 years (there is a brother in there too) and as kids we all shared the same room. Two bunk beds and a twin. When I was in university, there would be Barbie’s on the floor when I returned. Growing up, we camped every Summer (if you love Maine, keep coming East and go to PEI Canada, think Nantucket but so much more adorable!) and it was the Summer vacations that made us rely on each other. We now are grown with lots of kids of our own and I can truly say we are the best of friends. We talk continuously in a group chat and spend our vacation time flying to see each other’s families. At the end of August, the full family (we are now a group of 20!) are headed back to PEI for a big family get together. The core memories continue to build even in our 40’s…Mom & Dad are joining in on the fun too, like old times! As an optimist, I need to tell you it’s all going to work out :) You are doing a great job!
Oh Krista I love this!!!! Also *IMMEDIATELY LOOKS UP PEI*...Nate and I have been to Canada once and we absolutely loved it.
PEI is worth every second! Fun for the whole family. 😍
On the optimism quote… I think I lean more towards wanting my children to be practical…nothing is more annoying than someone who is always optimistic and can’t ever see when something just isn’t very good…just like nothing is more annoying than a pessimist who can’t see past the bad to make something enjoyable. But being practical and understanding there’s a time for both and knowing how to buckle in and use each one when needed seems incredibly helpful in so many situations they will face in life.
Carter I really like this!!! (I am also such a lover of practicality so you had me there!!), but this gives me some good things to think about, especially the part on being so optimistic you can't see when something isn't very good. thank you for this!
Vacations were the only time my sister and I, who are four years apart, got along and played together. We now vacation as combined families and our children love getting the time with their cousins.
On the note of having a naturally optimistic child: I don’t doubt the author of the quote, but when you are a parent of a naturally pessimistic child, it is quotes like this that can make you feel like a failure as a parent. Like, what did I do wrong that one of my children ended up having a more negative outlook? Is he going to end up depressed as a teen? Is he not going to be as successful as his siblings later in life? We want all of our children to be optimistic, but when you are in the thick of the tween years, and our optimism is met with a doubled-down side of pessimism on their part, it can really drag you through the mud.
Here’s to hoping that our continued love and support will lead to more optimistic teens.
Eh. I consider myself an optimist and my husband a pessimist. They each serve us well in different ways! My husband is an ophthalmologist (and I promise I don’t say this to brag, but that means he was top of his med school class). So, pretty “successful” in his career. His pessimism helps him evaluate possible pitfalls in his job, it honestly helps him have healthy habits (because he considers the downside of not exercising, eating well, etc.), it helps him be a good dad… honestly, being an eeyore isn’t all bad! Now, I think he needs me to bring a little sunshine sometimes! But I need him too. Your kid will do great 🤍
Davis Ann this was such a thoughtful response. I love this. the Eeyore line got me!!
Oh man Erin I am just touching the beginning of that phase with my oldest...the attitude, that reads so much like pessimism, can be so killer. I do wonder how it will iron out over time...but I really like what Davis Ann said here as well.
I’m a husband here for Nate’s takes and recommendations
Wow!! Tim, thank you so much! --Nate
I just have to say the preorder bonus interviews are AMAZING!!! Each one is better than the next. What a joy and privilege to get to binge all the conversations between you and each of your incredible guests! I CANNOT wait to read your book next month!!
Marissa thank you so much!! They were a true labor of love so I am thrilled you are enjoying them. It was a TREAT for me to get to chat with those women.
Next time check out the Keweenaw Peninsula (in Michigan’s UP) for a summer getaway! We have gorgeous summers and amazing Lake Superior beaches. And I would LOVE to come your way during our long winter…
Oh Michigan is absolutely on our list!!! thank you for giving me a name of a place to start looking it up more. and yes, Charleston in August....misery. Charleston in January....THE BEST!!!
Is Nate training for Jeopardy? This reading list feels like he covers enough ground to try.
Candice every day Nate's reading list makes me feel inferior. lol. it's so high level. so many topics!! Meanwhile I am reading one fiction at a time and it takes me a month.
I'm so glad you made the correlation between weather and mood. I'm blessed not to suffer from SAD in the winter, but the heat of a Charlotte, NC summer wrecks me. I wilt. I, too, had a quick getaway to Fancy Gap, VA (just 2 hours up the road but several thousand feet in elevation) and was refreshed by the cooler morning temps (64 degrees) and the fact that I could still be outside at noon (hiking even) and be hot but not boiled. I'm looking into renting an Airbnb for all of Jul and Aug next year if I can find something reasonably priced to have the luxury of mini-getaways all summer (or most of it!). Enjoy Maine!!
yessss!!!! i am telling you, i call it reverse seasonal depression. like the sunshine and heat and humidity and bugs just kill me. we spend too much time inside. that small dip in the morning temps are healing...so glad you found a place you enjoy!!
Kate, I love Maine. I always tell people if I didn’t live in Oregon, Maine would be my place. I have 2 sisters, we were not really friends as children, but we are close now and walk together every Sunday. Two of us are unmarried and I think it was when my married sister had her 2 daughters that was what brought us closer to each other. Your children are beautiful and all seem so happy and fun to be around.
Have a the happiest & most memorable vacation ever!
Oh I love that you go on walks together! My sister and I live so close we should be doing this. Also, did you know Oregon is my secret (not so secret) place I wish I lived?!
You are welcome in our beautiful state anytime! Almost no humidity most of the time and glorious fall weather. Come on over! ☺️
Love this little break from the daily crazy so much!
thank you so much Alison!
My kids get along better when I just force them to do it - less time with friends and holding very strict boundaries about how they treat each other and talk to each other. Traveling definitely sets the stage for this in big ways!
Maine looks fantastic, though I’m always compelled to speak up for my home state and say that Western / Northern Michigan is also magical in its own way. We survive the NC summers by making at least one road trip back up in the summer. Those gray northern winters are a serious killer, though. There’s a reason so many people snowbird in the south when they retire! I’m not sure I could go back there year-round.
I really, really want to see Michigan!! Also yes it's chilly here in July I cant imagine the winters!!! I would die. also i love the "forced family fun"...I think that is what my mom called it, haha!
I wonder if for your daughters there will be seasons that ebb and flow with friendship—that was definitely the case with me and my sisters! And now we are all besties despite times in life when there was more discord. I think travel was big for bonding (and currently is for my three young girls now). Also *working* alongside each other for shared goals—it builds a sense of camaraderie and confidence—like a pride in doing a job together successfully (we grew up on a dairy farm!). Nothing like a hard job to make you appreciate one another that much more and share that journey.
I think maybe the biggest thing is fostering a sense of warmth in your home! Somehow that gift of family and community in our home we had growing up created some great bonds that made us proud to be sisters! And just speaking to each other with kindness and gentleness and respect—a Christlike example that becomes second nature and expected. When an outside world notices the warmth, they see something different and even that fosters an excitement and pride to be a sibling and part of this type of family (especially once they get older!). You are doing great! ❤️
I told my husband last week that we needed to go a Maine trip for next summer! The kids will be 3, 7, and 8... An I crazy to consider driving from Western NC?! I can't decide if we should fly and have it be or destination, or road trip?!
We have a direct flight on breeze airways to portland and that made the decision to fly much easier! but I think a road trip could be awesome if you have the time to do so!
Next summer we will have a 5 and 3yo and we’re planning to go to Maine from the Raleigh area. I feel like so much of those trips become even more amazing when you add in the journey. If you and/or your husband have the days to take off to extend the trip to add the days of driving, I say do it!
Long road-trips with kids can be exhausting but we’ve never regretted one.
Thanks for the perspective! I agree it seems like a fun addition (and adventure!). Good luck with your travels!!!
We live in Raleigh and have driven to Maine a few times. If you can break it up into 1-2 days it's absolutely manageable (and there are some great stops along the way - recommend the Maryland bay area or the Berkshires!) but I wouldn't recommend doing it in one go. We've only done that once, never again!
Good to know! Did you pre-plan stops and hotels/places to stay? I feel like I'll want to have the details laid out, but sometimes I over plan and can't let things go to enjoy the more spontaneous side of road trips. 🙃
We pre-plan where we stay overnight and some stops along the way, but not all! For example, there's a bay-side park in Havre de Grace, Maryland (https://www.concordpointlighthouse.org/) that we often stop at, so we'll usually finagle our schedule to make it work. But others are on an as-needed basis or because something looks cool!